Why is it so difficult for me to write a research paper?
It does not suit me? I am not interested in it?
But how many people who really like their jobs and still make achievements are there in China?
How can I find interests in my career?
It is difficult to be a qualified mother, wife, daughter, daughter-in-law, sister,teacher?
It is difficult to be a qualified father, husband, son, son-in-law,brother, ....?
Qualified is very tough criteria, and there are so many characteristics we should act during whole life.
aha, it evolves.
Our parents may not know what they liked although they did so many hard work;
We know what we like , but we can not do that ; we can only do what we should do, which is called gentleman(村上春树)
Our kids know what they like and do it.
I like 村上春树,I have not been Japan, and not had experience to communicate with the Japanese, but I can find something is the same , whether in Japan or China, or somewhere. Here I have to make clear I hate the Japanese, Japan. My hometown have long history with Japan, there are many Japanese companies invested there, the Japanese have some kind of mix about my hometown. All of these can not erase my hate. That is main reason why my Japanese course was so bad, and made me fail in the entry examination for graduate . aha, till now , I find Japan change my fate.
English diary, aha, it is the only value of my gift. I gave bilingual course for my students, they disliked it. I read original English paper, then I am missing in them, I can not find my own perspective. I planed to translate the English paper into Chinese as my own work, but I have not such encouragement.
I still do not understand why some people are complaining their English, you do not need do that if you do not need to deal with foreigners.