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2018-10-15

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Continue to read book "The 7 habits of highly effective people : powerful lessons in personal change " by Stephen R. Covey

Change is hard. How can I change? I suggest two practices for making changes in your life. The first is to follow your conscience. I speak a lot about the idea that between stimulus (what happens to us) and response (what we do about it) is a space to choose, and what we do with that space ultimately determines our growth and happiness. In this space lie the four human endowments of conscience, imagination, self-awareness, and independent will. Of the four, conscience is the governing one. Often, when we are not at peace in our lives, it is because we are living lives in violation of our conscience and deep down we know it. We can tap into conscience simply by asking ourselves questions and pausing to “hear” the answer. For example, try asking yourself the following questions: What is the most important thing I need to start doing in my personal life that would have the greatest positive impact? Think deeply. What comes to mind? Now, ask yourself another question: What is the most important thing that I need to start doing in my professional life that would have the greatest positive impact? Again, pause, think, and go deep inside yourself to find the answer. If you’re like me, you’ll recognize those most important things by listening to your conscience—that voice of wisdom, self-awareness, and common sense within you. Another great question to ask yourself is: What is life now asking of me? Pause. Think carefully. You may sense that you’ve been unfocused and need to be far more careful with the way you spend your time. Or you may decide that you need to start eating better and exercising because you’re constantly tired. Or you may sense that there is a key relationship you need to repair. Whatever it is, there is great strength and power in following through with a change that is endorsed by your conscience. Without deep conviction, you won’t have the strength to follow through with your goals when the going gets tough. And conviction comes through conscience. We all have three different lives: a public life, a private life, and an inner life. Our public life is what others observe. Our private life is what we do when we are alone. Our inner life is that place we go to when we really want to examine our motives and our deepest desires. I highly recommend developing this inner life. This is the place where our conscience can be most instructive because while here we are in the best frame of mind to listen. A second key to change is to change your role. As I’ve always said, if you want to make incremental changes in your life, change your behaviors. But if you want to make significant change, work on your paradigms, the way in which you see and interpret the world. And the best way to change your paradigm is to change your role. You may get promoted to be a new project manager at work. You may become a new mother or a new grandfather. You may take on a new community responsibility. Suddenly your role has changed and you see the world differently and better behaviors naturally flow out of the changed perspective. Sometimes role changes are external events, such as a change in a job responsibility. But other times we can change our role just by changing our mindset or our perception of a situation. Let’s say, for example, that you are seen as a control freak at work and that you know you need to start trusting others and letting go. Well, perhaps you could see yourself differently and redefine your role from one of “supervisor” to one of “advisor.” With this change of role, this mental shift, you would start to see yourself as an advisor to your team members who are empowered to make decisions and seek your counsel when doing so instead of being the one who has to own everything and constantly follow up. I’m often asked, Which of the 7 Habits is the most important? My answer is: The most important habit is the one you are having the most difficult time living. Use your endowments of self-awareness and conscience to help you sense which habit you may need to focus on. Often the best way to change is to pick the one thing, the single habit, and to make small commitments to yourself related to that habit and keep them. Little by little your discipline and self-confidence will increase.

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充实每一天 发表于 2018-10-15 06:30
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<div align=\"left\"  >阅读1小时，总计651小时，第615日。<br>

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阅读《人性论》完毕
协议缔结以后，人们遇到的第一个困难是：如何分配所有物，使每个人在将来也能享有物品。习惯使我们想到，每个人都应该继续享有现在占有的东西，他们对于这些物品享有财产权和永久所有权。我们可以感觉到，使用的得心应手的东西最不忍放弃，从未享用过的物品即使没有了也不会觉得不便。因此，人们同意让各人继续享有他现在所占有的东西。在社会最初形成时期，把财产权归于现实占有者的规则是非常有益的，但如果永远遵守反而会有害。因为这个规则排除了财物的偿还，还使各种非义行为得到认可和奖励。
我发现主要条件有四个，即占领、时效、添附和继承。我们将简略地考察各项，先从占领谈起。
财产权是由时间产生的，所以它也不是实在的东西，它是时间和情绪影响下的产物。
割让要得到当事人，即所有者的同意，根据同意转移财产是基于自然法建立的。
许诺不能自然地产生任何义务。如果许诺产生了新的义务，而新的义务以新的情绪产生为前提，可是意志永远不能产生新的情绪，因此任何义务不能自然地产生于许诺。
人类要有知识才能制定并遵守许诺，可是这种知识不应该超出人类的能力以外。根据社会经验，每一个人都会发现这些利益，当他看到其他人也有同样的利益感觉时，他就会立刻履行协约中所承担的义务，因为他确信，其他的人也会履行他们的义务。要形成这种协作或协议，只需要每个人感觉到履行约定是有利的，并向社会中的其他成员表示出那种感觉来。利益是履行许诺的最初约束力。
每一个新的许诺给人增加了新的道德义务，这种义务既然发生于他的意志，所以它就具有了最为神秘而不可理解的作用。
许诺没有自然的义务，它只是为了社会的方便和利益而做的一种人为的设计。一个受了重伤的人许诺医生，治好之后会给他一笔巨款，他就有了践约的义务；如果一个人许诺会给强盗同样数目的钱，他会有践约的义务吗？这两个例子在我们的道德感中产生了很大的差异，其原因在于道德感是否建立在公益上面。
利己心才是正义法则的真正根源，人们出于自身利益的考虑制定正义法则，而且由于他们对利益的计较不得不调整自己的行为，以便符合于某种行为体系。这个包含着各个人利益的体系，对公众自然是有利的。
义务和财产权完全依赖于正义和非义，并且随着它的变化而变化。在正义完整的地方，财产权也是完整的；在正义不完整的地方，财产权也必然是不完整的。反过来说，如果财产权不允许有某种程度差别，那么正义必然也不允许有这种差别。
为了减少破坏，我们要找到一个方案，能够使人们借以克制他们自身的弱点，使自己的行为永远归于正义和公道法则之下。我们既然不能改变自己的本性，那么只好最大限度地改变我们的外在条件和状况，使遵守正义法则成为我们最切近的利益。对全人类来说这一点是行不通的，只有少数人才能办到，因而我们就使这些人和执行正义产生了直接的利害关系。这些人就是民政长官、国王和他的大臣、长官等等。他们不报有任何谋取利益的目的，特别是对非正义的行为，他们满足于履行任何社会责任和义务。他们每一次执行正义都事关所有人的直接利益和切身福利，因此他们的执行正义是维系社会所必需的。这就是政府和社会的起源。
尊重财产对自然社会固然是必要的，而服从政治社会或政府也是同样必要的。既然这两条规则都是建立在同样的利益约束之上，就必然各自有其独立的权威，彼此互不依靠。
是公益使我们产生了服从，形成了服从的习惯。如果利益首先产生了对政府的服从，那么如果利益停止，我们的服从义务也就停止了。
虽然政治学和道德学都主张反抗最高权力是正当的，但在人类社会中没有一件事比这件事更为有害、更为罪恶。革命总是要引起动乱，而且它以推翻政府为目的，这会在人类中间引起无政府状态和极为混乱的局面，所以我们对反抗学说应当采取谨慎的态度。
我们必须承认，在公共事务方面，如果没有其他权利来对抗它的话，强者的权利必须被认为是合法的，并被道德学所认可。
时间和习惯把权威授予一切政府形式和国王的继承，这样原来建立在非义和暴力之上的权力，就逐渐变成合法的、有约束力的权力了。
特殊的事物比较容易影响想象。当情绪的对象在某种程度上是模糊不确定的时候，情绪就难以刺激起来。因为并非每一个特殊的正义行为都是有益社会的，整个行为体系或制度才是对社会有益的。由正义得到利益的，或许不是个体，而是社会的整体。虽然特殊的慷慨行为或者对于贫苦人群的救济都是有益的，后一种德要比前一种德更容易影响我们的情绪，激起我们的赞许。
在交际场合中，如果不是十分地出人头地，我们总是应当装作是最低微的人。可以说一种骄傲或自尊，如果掩饰得好且有很好的根据，是一个尊贵的人所必需的条件；而且要想得到别人的尊重和赞美，没有其他性质比这种性质更为必要。是习俗要求各种等级的人互相恭敬和谦逊，在这方面越犯规矩的人，如果是为了利益，会被人指责为卑鄙；如果是出于无知，则会被人指责为愚蠢。
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