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lz的专业水平我不敢评价,能够看出来的是:
1 英语水平不怎么样
举例:
passed in NOV. 2009 FULL FRM exam ->passed the exam!
finance services industry -> financial services
recruit those passed FRM finalists simply by solely -> repetition
If employers recruit those passed FRM finalists simply by solely considering their exam. results, this really turns down the job market -> this主语不明
2 逻辑能力欠缺:论点不清,论据牵强,混淆因果和相关
举例:
- Again, back to reality, this is really a serious blow -> 光看通过人数,不看通过率,似乎不妥当吧?
- If employers recruit those passed FRM finalists simply by solely considering their exam. results, this really turns down the job market. ->really从何而来,你的论据呢?雇主会像你说的那么傻吗?加一句,这一句最好用虚拟式。
- 通篇都是大调调,颇具煽动性,你搞finance或许没有选对行业,没能用上你的特长。
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