英文已如此搞笑,翻译却更加残暴

69、Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
知识就是力量，力量会邪恶化。那么就好好学习当大魔王吧！

70、Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

钱买不来幸福，但有了它，痛苦的日子会好熬一点。

71、Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
跟悲观主义者借钱吧！他反正不指望你还！！！

72、Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
担忧真的好使！！老子担心的事儿90%都没发生！！

73、Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone.
贞操如泡影，一戳无踪影。

74、Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
这年头，连怀旧都不如从前够味儿了。

75、With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
只要主义真，猪也成超人。
信春哥 ，得永生

77、Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re
still here.”
豪马克卡上的话：没有你我痛苦万分，正如你就在此处。（没有女人冷冷清清，有了女人
鸡犬不宁）

78、You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
越活越2~ /活到老,2到老

79、A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that yo
u will look forward to the trip.
直译：外交家们说让你下地狱的时候，措辞也好像你正巴不得来这么趟旅行。

80、 I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m goin
g to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “
Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners ve
ry well.”
我和个壮汉闹急了。 他：老子非得用你丫脸把地给擦了！！！ 我：你会后悔的！！ 他：
噢？真哒？怎么讲？ 我：呃，边边角角的地方你擦不到！！！

81、Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagi
nation whatsoever.
有些人吹牛说丫能通灵，有些人吹牛说丫有阴阳眼，其他人只是没有这种想象力而已

82、I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
啊我好爱好爱工作啊~ 工作让我好着迷啊~我TM死盯着它几个小时了啊！

84、Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
女人或许击得并不重，但她们击得更低…..
女人总是能击中男人的要害。

85、Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
直译：记着吧……世界要不恶心，我们早被吐掉了。
别抱怨了，这个世界要是真和谐了，我们这种人就不应该存在~
意译：你们TM给我记住：没有和谐社会，你们早让美帝国主义给糟蹋了！

86、Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
上帝蜀黍疼你，只是大家都觉得你2B而已

87、I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
a. 过去老子左右为难。现在老子优柔寡断。
b. 我曾是个怀疑论者，现在我很怀疑这一点。
c. 过去我难以决断，现在我不大确信是否还是如此。

88、I don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.
老子打死都不信流血5天还不挂的物种。/老子打死都不信娘们儿。

89、If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting o
n your pants.
直译：如果你始终脚踏实地，那就别想穿裤子了。
意译：人太老实没法活。

90、To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit th
e target.
别人是指哪儿打哪儿，我是打哪儿指哪儿。

91、 You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and
there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.

好吧，既然这艘船要沉了，救生衣又只有一件，我就勉为其难的虚伪一下，你对我来说实
在是不能再好的朋友了…我一定会经常想念你滴~!!!

92、Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a
garage makes you a car.
站在车库的你并不会变成一辆车是吧？所以站在教堂的你也不会变成基督徒。

93、Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
世界总是在变，但我却怎么也便不出来。
意译：人生何处不杯具，唯有面对饮水机。

94、If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have m
ore than one child.
假设我们会吃一堑，长一智，为什么总有人生了一个还会生？

95、A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when y
ou are in it.
公车总在被追赶的时候的速度要比你在里面时的速度快两倍。
一旦你在公车后面追，它的速度就会变得比你在里面所感觉得快。

96、Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.

发明“鼠动无声”这词儿的哥们一定没踩上过一只。

97、You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydi
ve twice.
过了河也别拆桥，没准你还要回来呢。

98、The difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer is in
the taste.
口腔体温计和菊花体温计有啥不同？尝尝看就知道了

99、When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department us
ually uses water.
以暴治暴，不如以抱治爆。

100、Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast.
直译：记着，如果你在嘿咻后冒烟了，证明你整得太快了。

楼主可集结成txt打包，有的学了...

哈哈搞笑{:2_31:}

笑了，不回不厚道。

楼主辛苦了，哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

挺搞的~中文和英文~~

很好啊