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那些年，我们误会的孔子言论
Return good for evil以德报怨
This is an idiom, or chengyu, that comes from The Analects, a collection of teachings and stories involving Confucius written during the Warring States period (475 – 221 BCE). It means to “repay evil with good.” It is often quoted, and also frequently criticized as an unattainable moral requirement. However, Confucius was not in favor of this idea at all. According to The Analects, a citizen asked Confucius his opinion about the concept of “repaying evil with good,” and Confucius expressed his opposition. The sage’s full reply went: “If you return good for evil, what do you return for good? One should return injustice with justice, and repay good with good.”这是一个成语，出自《论语》。《论语》是写于战国时期(公元前475 - 221年)的一部关于孔子的学说和故事的书。这个词的意思是“以德报怨”，它经常被引用，也经常被批评为一种无法达到的道德要求。然而，孔子根本不赞成这种想法。据《论语》记载，一个市民问孔子对“以善报恶”的看法，孔子表示反对。智者的原话是:“以德报怨，以善报怨是什么？以义还义，以善还善。”
Think thrice before acting三思而后行
When you are about to make a major decision, your family or friends may cite Confucius and advise you to act prudently and “think three times before acting.” This phrase is also from The Analects, but again, Confucius didn’t actually endorse this practice, and even felt it gratuitous. According to The Analects, when Confucius heard that Ji Wenzi, an official of the State of Lu during the Spring and Autumn period, often “thought three times before taking any action,” the sage commented: “Thinking twice is enough.” Though Confucius felt appropriate caution was necessary, he disproved of unnecessary wavering, and warned people not to become irresolute and hesitant.当你要做一个重大的决定时，你的家人或朋友可能会引用孔子的话，建议你要谨慎行事，“三思而后行”。这句话也出自《论语》，但同样，孔子并不赞同这种做法，甚至觉得这是无端的。据《论语》记载，孔子听说春秋时期鲁国的官员季文子经常“三思而行”，孔子说：“三思而行就够了。”虽然孔子认为适当的谨慎是必要的，但他反对不必要的动摇，并警告人们不要变得优柔寡断。
Women and small men are hard to deal with唯女子和小人难养也
Many have accused Confucius of sexism because of this infamous quote, and it is still wielded by modern day misogynists to complain about women. Literally, this quote means “only women and xiaoren (literally, small men) are hard to deal with.” Confucius later explained why this was so: “If you get too close to them, they will become impertinent; if you alienate them, they will hate you.”因为这句臭名昭著的名言，许多人指责孔子有性别歧视，现代厌女者仍在用这句话来抱怨女性。从字面上看，这句话的意思是“只有女人和小男人(字面上的小男人)是很难对付的。”孔子后来解释说：“如果你太接近他们，他们会变得无礼；如果你疏远他们，他们会恨你。”
The main controversy comes from the placement of “xiaoren” and women in the same phrase. Xiaoren is a negative concept frequently mentioned in The Analects, and refers to cruel men, men of small minds, or snobs depending on the context. Small men are the opposite of the ideal Confucian man, junzi, and equating them with women represents a serious insult to that gender.主要的争议来自于“小人”和“女人”在同一个短语中的位置。“小人”是《论语》中经常提到的一个贬义概念，根据语境，它指的是残忍的人、心胸狭窄的人或势利小人。小人是儒家理想男人“君子”的对立面，把他们等同于女人是对这个性别的严重侮辱。
However, this may not have been exactly what Confucius sought to express. According to Zhu Xi, a Confucian scholar who lived in the Song dynasty (960 – 1279) and whose commentaries on Confucian thought were considered to be official interpretations in the imperial examination in later dynasties, “women” (nüzi) in this sentence didn’t refer to all women. Instead, Zhu argued, Confucius was talking only of concubines housed by a ruler; while the term xiaoren referred to the servants and slaves of that ruler. By this reading, Confucius meant to say that a ruler needs to deal with his concubines and servants in the proper manner.然而，这可能不是孔子想要表达的。宋朝(960 - 1279)儒生朱熹对儒家思想的评注被认为是后世科举考试的官方解释，据朱熹说，这句话中的“女人”并不是指所有的女人。相反，朱熹认为，孔子所说的只是统治者的妃子；而“孝仁”一词则是指那个统治者的仆人和奴隶。孔子的意思是说，一个统治者需要以适当的方式对待他的妻妾和仆人。
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