充实每一天 发表于 2018-7-19 06:44
【加入充实计划】【了解充实计划】
|新充实挑战| |公告【想成为牛人】|
昨日阅读0.5小时,累计阅读87小时,读Seven Habits。
当说到人际关系,很多人都紧张,因为关系的好坏程度难以衡量,但是如果设立一个情感账户,不失为一个好办法。其实,每个人心里都有一个情感账户,而且别人对你做的特定的事情相当于在你情感账户的存款,比如:
1. 对方十分看重你的需求,把你的需求当做自己需求一样认真对待的时候;
2. 在琐碎日常的生活中,对方某一个无意的举动可能出发你的情感账户的波动,也许是你的父母把自己外套给更小的弟弟而没有给你的时候;
3. 对方认真对待对你的承诺的时候,不轻易做出承诺,但是承诺了就尽全力履行的时候;
以上是建立情感账户储蓄的三种途径,其他三种未完待续。以上行为的相反面被视作情感账户储蓄的提取,当对方提取过度,可能使你为他/她开设的账户出现负债的情况。
原文部分摘录:<br>
An Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being.
If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank Account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build up a reserve. Your trust toward me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to. I can even make mistakes and that trust level, that emotional reserve, will compensate for it. My communication may not be clear, but you’ll get my meaning anyway. You won’t make me “an offender for a word.” When the trust account is high, communication is easy, instant, and effective.
But if I have a habit of showing discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, overreacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you, or playing little tin god in your life, eventually my Emotional Bank Account is overdrawn. The trust level gets very low. Then what flexibility do I have?
None.