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书名：Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone
作者：Mark Goulston M.D.
出版：AMACOM 2009
ISBN：0814414036
格式：PDF；1MB；256页
“I read Just Listen on a weekend plane ride, started putting the lessons
to work on Monday, and have been using them routinely ever
since. I’ve already ordered copies for everyone in Mattel’s senior
leadership team and for each of my grown kids.”
—Bob Eckert, CEO and Chairman, Mattel
“For far too many people, introspection is an elusive quality. But in
his new book, Just Listen, Mark Goulston teaches us the power of
introspection. He shows us how to look at ourselves and our relationships
with others as a way to unlock powerful insights that can
make us more effective at work and at play. You may think of yourself
as confident and passionate, but could just as easily be seen by
others as arrogant and impulsive. The gap between those perceptions
is often the difference between success and failure. Goulston
has written an important book to help us bridge that gap and to
hone our introspective skills.”
—John Byrne, Executive Editor, BusinessWeek
“Communication is not just saying something, it’s being heard. Mark
Goulston brings new meaning to ‘getting through’ to others. Just
Listen is the indispensable guidebook for the journey to greater listening,
caring, guiding, and fulfillment. We thank you, Mark.”
—Frances Hesselbein, Chairman and Founding President,
Leader to Leader Institute
“Mark Goulston provides the blueprint for connecting with people
and building meaningful relationships in your personal and professional
life. This is clearly Mark’s most important work to date
and a must-read for anyone focused on improving their personal
effectiveness.”
—Wayne Gattinella, President & CEO, WebMD
C O N T E N T S
SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1
1 Who’s Holding YOU Hostage? 3
The Persuasion Cycle 7
The Secret: Getting Through Is Simple 10
2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes
from “No” to “Yes” 14
The Three-Part Brain 15
Amygdala Hijack and the Death of Rational Thought 16
Mirror Neurons 18
From Theory to Action 22
SECTION II The Nine Core Rules for
Getting Through to Anyone 25
3 Move Yourself from “Oh F#@& to OK” 27
Get Through to Yourself First 28
Speed Is Everything 29
The “Oh F#@& to OK” Process 30
The Power of “Oh F#@&” 31
The “Oh F#@& to OK” Speed Drill 32
4 Rewire Yourself to Listen 36
“But I Do Listen . . . Don’t I?” 38
How Well Do You Know the People You Know? 41
5 Make the Other Person Feel “Felt” 45
Why Does “Feeling Felt” Change People? 48
The Steps to Making Another Person Feel “Felt” 51
6 Be More Interested Than Interesting 55
The “Interesting” Jackass 57
Don’t Just Act Interested—Be Interested 59
7 Make People Feel Valuable 64
8 Help People to Exhale Emotionally and
Mentally 69
Moving a Person Away from Distress 70
Guiding a Person to Exhale 72
9 Check Your Dissonance at the Door 77
The Perils of Corporate Dissonance 83
When You Can’t Avoid Dissonance, Anticipate It 85
10 When All Seems Lost—Bare Your Neck 87
Show Them Your Neck, and They’ll Want to
Show You Theirs 89
11 Steer Clear of Toxic People 94
Needy People 95
Bullies 99
Takers 102
Narcissists 103
Psychopaths 104
Mirror Check: Who’s the Problem? 106
SECTION III 12 Quick and Easy Ways
to Achieve Buy-In and Get Through 109
12 The Impossibility Question 111
13 The Magic Paradox 116
The Cascade of “Yes” 117
A Trust-Gaining Move 119
14 The Empathy Jolt 123
How It Works 126
When to Employ the Empathy Jolt 127
The Power of Analogy 129
15 The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2 132
16 “Do You Really Believe That?” 138
17 The Power of “Hmmm . . .” 142
18 The Stipulation Gambit 150
19 From Transaction to Transformation 155
Negotiating Versus Relating 156
What Question Would Make You Look Up? 161
20 Side by Side 163
21 Fill in the Blanks 170
22 Take It All the Way to “No” 176
23 The Power Thank You and Power Apology 180
“Thank You” Versus the Power Thank You 181
The Power Apology 183
SECTION IV Putting It All Together: Fast
Fixes for Seven Challenging Situations 187
24 The Team from Hell 189
25 Climbing the Ladder 194
26 The Narcissist at the Table 197
27 Stranger in Town 200
The Visibility Stage 201
The Credibility Stage 202
The Profitability Stage 203
28 The Human Explosion 204
29 Getting Through to Yourself 209
30 Six Degrees of Separation 215
Create One-on-One Situations 216
Make Virtual Allies 217
Reach the Gatekeepers 218
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